Counselling for gay men

I’m Rafael – a counsellor and gay man with over 15 years’ professional experience helping other gay men with mental health, wellbeing, sexual and addiction issues. I can help you get your life back on track and feel better in a matter of weeks, rather than months of therapy.

I offer effective short-term, intensive counselling based on the tried and tested Bruges Model of cognitive therapy. Drawing on the full spectrum of counselling and psychotherapy techniques I work with clients to fully understand their underlying issues and whatever is holding them back, so that we can develop personalised, sustainable and life-changing solutions through 10 face-to-face sessions spread over eight weeks or less.

Rafaël Dupré - counsellor
0207 193 1882

I give my clients the tools to think, feel and function better, independently and outside the comfort and security of the therapy room, without becoming dependent on their therapist. After 10 sessions you should no longer need my input because those tools will ensure that you continue to build on the progress we have already made.“

Read more about effective short-term therapy [+]

Face-to-face sessions

Following a 45-minute telephone assessment, in our first face-to-face sessions I will act as a catalyst as we work together to understand your triggers, dealing with those first, so that you can focus on the strengths that you already possess and the successful strategies you already have in place. By putting equal emphasis on what’s good and valuable you will already start to feel better BEFORE we move on to fully understanding and tackling the more difficult underlying issues.

In between sessions

In between our face-to-face meetings, you will need to commit to keeping a journal and also actively implementing all of the changes that we agree in the previous sessions. This includes practicing and integrating specific techniques into everyday thinking and behaviour. Because this implementation is continuous during the course of the therapy – rather than at the end of the programme – significant change is noticeable very early on, usually between 3 and 6 weeks.

Follow up support

After the ten sessions, follow up is available, but this happens over the telephone or via Skype and through deliberately shorter 30-minute sessions to encourage clients to continue to think and act independently, safe in the knowledge that support or positive reinforcement is there if and when they really need it.

To find our more about how I work, you can always email me:

Get specialist help with....

  • Depression and anxiety

    Being a gay man isn’t always easy. Throughout our lives, our expectations of relationships, sex, marriage might significantly differ from those around us and yet we still compare ourselves, attempting to figure out why we’re not as successful, as wealthy, talented or perfectly built…perceptions that can easily lead to depression, anxiety and an overwhelming sense of failure. It’s hardly surprising that our emotions sometimes veer off in the wrong direction, especially after a traumatic event.

    I want to help you redefine your relationship with ‘failure’ as the first step to radically improving your outlook on life. My goal is to provide you with a non-judgmental, confidential space where you can acknowledge and openly discuss the root causes of your depression or anxiety, before we put together a comprehensive blueprint for bringing about the changes that are going to make you feel dramatically better about yourself.

  • Sex and sexuality

    Sex doesn’t always equate with intimacy and many of my clients notice a divide between the physicality of sex, sexual gratification and a more profound need for closeness and an emotional connection with a sexual partner. Even though the gay scene has always been incredibly sexualised, clients often come to me because they struggle to talk to friends, family or even a partner openly about sex and what it really means to them.

    My role is to take away the taboos or embarrassment of discussing sex so that we can then work towards a healthy attitude and highly personalised approach to sex, one that’s right for you and allows you to achieve fulfilment from each sexual encounter or ongoing sexual relationship. I can also challenge your perceptions, helping you to explore sex in specific contexts such as hookup apps and online dating, long-term or open relationships, libido and fetishes.

  • Relationships

    Relationships are all about making connections and in the gay world, even though greater equality has given us the prospect of more stable relationships and marriage, attitudes towards promiscuity and making commitments vary significantly. And with the proliferation of online dating it’s easy to start feeling disposable, objectified, isolated and disappointed both inside and outside a relationship. Many clients come to me when they are experiencing loneliness, feeling abandoned or betrayed, and unable to cope with loss… all symptoms that you can bring into therapy.

    Within relationships some of the most common issues I can help you with include commitment and intimacy, communication, managing the expectations of those around us, loneliness and dealing with alternative lifestyles, such as open or polyamorous relationships how these are perceived.

  • Addiction

    Addiction usually results from our inability to cope with situations, feelings or memories from the past. Whether it’s substance abuse or gambling, body image obsession, sex, porn, compulsive eating…even digital addiction, there’s always a fine line between what’s recreational and a spiral of destructiveness. Clients usually come to me when they have a dawning realisation that their addiction and increased risk taking is starting to adversely impact their day-to-day lives, the people around them, or their own health or sexual health.

    I can help you identify the underlying anxieties that trigger those negative urges so that we can target the root cause, not just the behaviour. I want to work with you to develop very specific and meaningful strategies so that you can put yourself back in control and actively decide what you want your future to be.

Affordable by being effective

Affordable by being effective

I charge £85 per hour for sessions in London, either in Victoria or Liverpool Street. I include two free 30-minute follow up calls as part of the effective short-term therapy programme. If you would like subsequent follow up sessions by telephone or Skype these are charged at £35 for 30 minutes. I also offer a limited number of places at student and concessionary rates.

I am a registered member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP), am fully insured and work within the BACP Ethical Framework. I undertake ongoing professional training and attend regular sessions with a BACP-accredited supervisor to ensure consistently high standards of care.

To book an assessment, simply email me – or call
020 7193 1882.

  • About me

    Since gaining my degree in my native Belgium I have been a counsellor and psychotherapist in various mental health organisations and government-funded programmes in Europe before spending time living and working Asia.

    I moved to the UK in 2011 to complete further training within the NHS and now divide my time between private practices in London, rural Kent and Poitiers, France.

    I have been married to my British husband for over 10 years and together we raise twin sons who were born through international surrogacy during our time living and working in India.

    I myself have experienced highs and lows and have had to confront and deal with many issues relating to my own life. Now, my own background and experiences, positive and negative, allow me to better understand the broader context of my clients’ issues and in particular to remove any perceived taboos or nervousness about discussing sexual or sex-related topics.

    In addition to my ongoing professional development, I have completed vocational courses in contextual therapy, family therapy, working with victims of (sexual) abuse, addiction (sex, substances, porn), attachment related difficulties and relational issues.

I helped a a 35 year-old man who feared that his fetish was becoming an obsession understand himself better and integrate his fetish in to his relationship.
I helped a 48 year-old man understand his sex addiction and develop the tools to manage his addiction and achieve a healthy sex life again.
Counselling for gay men
Gay therapist - counselling for gay men
I helped a 52 year-old man in a polyamorous relationship define and communicate his own needs so that their relationship became more balanced and fulfilling.
I helped a 27 year-old man who’s anxiety prevented him from socialising overcome his panic attacks so that he could rebuild his social life.

Frequently Asked Questions [+]

  • What is the purpose of the initial assessment session?
    The assessment is an opportunity to get to know each other and so that you can explain a bit about your situation and why you might need help. I will tell you more about who I am and how I work and if you feel comfortable talking to me, then we will decide together what your goals for therapy will be and put together a timing plan for achieving those goals.

  • Will there be a counselling contract and what is in the contract?
    I make a contract with all my clients – it sets out the expectations from both sides and agrees basic things like when your sessions will take place, fees, how I deal with confidentiality, my cancelation policy and the legal and ethical frameworks within which I work.

  • When will my therapy take place?
    If you choose to start short term therapy using the Brugge Model, we will normally have ten sessions over eight weeks. Two sessions during the first week and after that weekly sessions at a fixed timeslot. The last two sessions will a take place during the last week. So every week you would have therapy on the same day at the same time apart from the extra sessions during the first and the last week.

  • How much will therapy cost me?
    Intensive short term therapy costs £85 per session and can be paid ahead or in three payments spread out over total duration. Payments can be made in cash or by bank transfer ahead of the sessions.

  • What if I need to cancel or re-book a session?
    When we plan your therapy, I set time aside to see you each week, so if you need to cancel then you will still need to pay the full fees for that session. This is not only a practical consideration but also helps to minimise the interruptions to your therapy which can undermine your progress.

  • How long will I need therapy for?
    We will agree during the initial assessment session where the priorities are, and we will work with a set of goals that is achievable within 10 sessions. After that we can agree on an number of follow up sessions if needed and appropriate, possibly via Skype.

  • What happens if I no longer can continue therapy?
    If for whatever reason you will still need to pay for any planned sessions, which gives us time to draw the therapy to an appropriate close, rather than leaving things with an abrupt ending and unanswered questions.

  • Can I contact you outside the agreed weekly time?
    If you would need to contact me outside the weekly time to cancel a session for instance, you can email me, or call 0207 193 1882 and leave a message. I will get back to you as soon as possible.